Success Script—Self-Care, Taking Action 

 

 

Title:  It Was the Alarm Clock’s Fault

Name:  Dorrie

Date:  September 28, 2006

 

 

Background:  Every single morning I was late.  I could never just be on time.  I tried and tried to hurry but there were many mornings when my boyfriend arrived to give me a ride to school and I was not ready.  My boyfriend knows I am slow in the morning.  I know he knows how slow I am, but I always blamed his wait on something else without taking responsibility for my own tardiness. 

 

Every morning I had another reason.  “My alarm did not go off.”  “Last night my mother called and I ended up having to talk with her FOR-EV-ER.”  “I couldn’t find my brown pants and then did not realize it was so cold out today, so I had to change my outfit after I spent twenty minutes getting it ready.”  Last week, he was sitting anxiously on the arm of the chair as I was brushing my hair and making coffee simultaneously.  He asked, “Why can’t you just be ready?”

 

 

New Behavior:  I was about to turn the situation around and accuse him, when I saw that he was slouched over, clearly as tired as I was, and annoyed that he could have been sleeping a few extra minutes instead of waiting for me.  I saw that I really was totally responsible for my choices—it was not my mom’s fault or the alarm’s fault and certainly no fault of his.

 

 I apologized instead and have made more effort to be ready when he arrives.  I am still incredibly tired in the morning, but I now pack my school bag, set up my coffee and breakfast the night before, and listen to the weather in the evening so I can at least ball park my outfit.

 

 

Why I Consider This a Success:  It has improved our relationship and I sleep better at night knowing I will not be as rushed in the morning.  I have played a blame game a lot through my life, not taking any responsibility.  I am trying hard to just own up to my own mistakes instead of quickly accusing someone.

 

 

Intention for the Future:  Ideally I would like to be zapped or something when I blame someone else for what I have caused and created.  I notice I am a bit more careful with my words, slower to blame someone else.  The five minutes it takes me to prepare my things the night before makes a world of difference in my lifestyle.  I hope I continue that too.