Some Comments from Readers


The author clearly presents the basic concepts of Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, with examples and exercises that effectively facilitate understanding and skill development.  She emphasizes throughout the importance of active self-care and self-awareness in order to improve our communication and conflict management.  This text would serve well for group or individual study.  I recommend it.         

Jane P. Ives, Consultant and Reviewer of Resources for United Methodist Marriage and Family Ministries, www.marriagelovepower.net


Here is an amazing resource filled with activities, which make learning NVC fun.  Connection does not pull any punches.  It is a wonderful self-learning tool for people of all ages.  I heartily recommend it and have given it to friends.         

Pan Vera, PSNCC certified NVC trainer, co -coordinator Vermont NVC, www.vermontnvc.org and workshop leader, www.compassionatecommunications.us/index.htm


I loved this edition of Connection:  A Self-Care Approach to Conflict Management.  The first thing I noticed was the fifth component of the process:  "An Attitude."  As a long time practitioner and trainer I know that Intention, or Attitude, lies at the heart of successful communication.  Bonnie captures this admirably.  Another feature this book brings that is unique is the voice of the student.  You see students struggling with concepts and incorporating these skills into their lives.  I also enjoyed the change from Self Empathy to Self-Care.  I see this as clearer communication and connection, especially with new students.  All in all, a great revision to a very helpful tool.         

Jim Hussey, Licensed Professional Counselor; Past Regional Coordinator for Oregon Network of Compassionate Communication; Moderator, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nvccertificationcandidates


I have found Connection a valuable resource for both my teaching and learning.  Both newcomers and intermediate students find the explanations easily grasped and enticing.  These exercises draw people into thoughtful consideration of nonviolent consciousness and how to apply this powerful way of thinking and speaking to their own lives.  I have used many of the exercises in the NVC workshops that I teach and the practice groups I support.  They are well received by teens and adults alike.  Whether you are in an NVC practice group or doing individual study, I highly recommend this book for enlivening nonviolent thinking and communicating.         

Peggy Smith, certified NVC trainer; co-founder of Maine NVC Network and principal writer for monthly newsletter, www. mainenvcnetwork.org; founder and principal trainer for Open Communications www.opencommunication.org


Connection is a gentle introduction to NVC, with an abundance of inviting exercises to reinforce the communication skills the reader is learning.  It sparkles with humor.  The comfortable language was effective in engaging my college students and easily interested the adult learner, as well.  I particularly enjoyed how the book encourages readers to become more aware of needs.

Jane Connor, Ph.D., certified NVC trainer; award-winning teacher of Compassionate Communication and of Multicultural Psychology, while at SUNY-Binghamton; co-author of Connecting Across Differences: A Guide to Compassionate, Nonviolent Communication


I had high expectations for your book because of your use of self-care instead of the more abstract “self-empathy.”  My expectations were more than met.  Your addition of “attitude” to the four steps is a crucial adjunct to the process.  Then there is the accessibility of the material.  It is so inviting that I am thinking of organizing a study group.  You have done all the work.         

Estill Putney, stone carver, dancer of Dances of Universal Peace, Blacksburg, Virginia


What I loved about this book is that it allows for flaws and failures.  While a regular communication book only provides the optimal solution, I have learned there are paths to be followed after making a mistake.  If a conversation went badly, try again.  If the solution that you and the other party came up with doesn’t work out, don’t lose heart, just start over.  Look for problems before they arise, go and confront the person before they need to confront you, but if you don’t, here’s how to handle it when they complain.        

Paul Duval, Norway


Connection gave me words for where I am and where I want to go.  I am launching myself into a world where people have honorable contributions to make, rather than stewing in a community where everyone else is “wrong” and “should be following rules.”  Looking over the Success Scripts, at the end of each chapter, I see my progression from perfectionism to more self-awareness, more self-acceptance.  For me, this book has been life-changing.  It has been exciting to see my kids starting to use these skills, too.  

Emily Merrill, farmer, Burlington, Vermont  


While Bonnie anchors the book in a college setting, the group of professional adults we formed to teach ourselves NVC, found we could use the exercises with minimal revision.  Bonnie captures the diversity of many voices as they learn, experiment with, and share Rosenberg’s ideas.  Building on his formula:  “Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests,” Bonnie adds, “And an Attitude.”  An attitude of appreciation for self and others is a key component to success.  To NVC, Bonnie adds years of counseling experiences to explain step by step how to get through conflict productively.  I found it worth reading and re-reading.         

Carolyn Stevens, real estate investor, Boston