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Index of Sample Pages

 

Part One:  The Basic Tools = Four Steps & an Attitude

                        Basic Tools

 

Chapter 1         Observations 

                        Befriending Your Evaluations, Turning Them into Observations

 

Chapter 2         Feelings 

                        On Noticing Difficult Feelings

 

Chapter 3         Needs 

                        Definitions of Needs – Maslow, Rosenberg, and Others

                        Using Needs Awareness to Move from Evaluations to Compassion

 

Chapter 4         Requests 

                       Components of Effective Requests

                       Success Script—Asking for Time

 

Chapter 5         And an Attitude 

                        Attitude Defined

                        Releasing Endorphins with an Attitude of Gratitude

                        Tricks of the Mind that Perpetuate Conflict

 

 

Part Two:  Grounding Through Self-Care              

                        The Value of Self-Care:  Personally, Professionally and in Relationships

 

Chapter 6         Self-Care, Nurturing Body and Brain 

                       Success Script—Get More Active

 

Chapter 7         Self-Care, Doing Inner Work 

                        A Structured Look Inside

                        Finding Your Needs under Your Judgments

 

Chapter 8         Self-Care, Taking Action 

                        Saying and Hearing “NO” in Connecting Ways

                        Success Script—It was the Alarm Clock’s Fault

 

 

Part Three:  Communicating for Connection

            Styles of Communication and Ideals

 

Chapter 9         Listening for Connection

                        Alternatives to Pretending to Listen

                        Tips for Mindful Listening

 

Chapter 10       Talking for Connection 

                        A Time to Talk, a Time to Listen

 

Chapter 11       Dealing with Anger in a Connecting Way

                        Applying Rosenberg’s 4 Step Response to Anger

                        Responding to the Anger of Others

 

 

Part Four:  Moving Into Action

 

CHAPTER TWELVE   Resolving Conflict Assertively

                        17 Step Outline